20 May 2010 - From our dumbed-down-science correspondent
The world of Political Science was in turmoil yesterday as researchers announced that they have created a new artificial political life form in a politically clean environment in the famous Coalition laboratories in Downing Street.
Analysts speculate that this revolutionary organism could be an invaluable tool in the fight by politicians against unpleasant diseases like democracy, accountability and popular sentiment.
The ingenuity of the scientists was revealed in a press conference where senior political scientist Dr Mandelslime described how his team had created this new life-form, called "Cameronis-Upcleggarse".
Scientists created the new slimy mold by sucking out and throwing away the nucleus of the common Conservatii organism and replacing it with the DNA from the rabid Yellow Libdemionis bacterium. The resulting cells responded poorly to various electoral tests such as manifesto commitments, but scientists hope they can manipulate the public into thinking this new form of life is a "Stable and Secure" government.
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