Monday, 15 April 2013
Squawked at: 09:22:00
"We demand our right to use human shields", say BBC brains while LSE geniuses demand right to censor journalists.
A flurry of claims and counter claims filled the airwaves yesterday as the super-human intelligences from the BBC and the London School of Economics clashed over their respective human or inhuman rights.
"Listen, you puny humans" said an intellect at the BBC's Broadcasting House, "you just don't get it. We superior beings demand our alienable right to use anyone as a human shield while we film friendly documentaries about noble North Korean leaders. Any effort to deny us this fundamental right is tantamount to Thatcherite racism, you fascist pig-dog lackeys."
The L.S.E.'s spokes-brain whose I.Q. is 274, gave a press conference from its large cylidrical glass jar and told reporters how this irresponsible act threatened their left-wing hegemony and that it was THEIR job to befriend the left-wing brutal dictators of the world. The spokes-brain went on to say "The world knows that it is our mission to befriend world dictators like Gadaffi and award their sons fake degrees. The BBC should butt out and, furthermore, all you puny human journalists should bow down before us and only publish stories we like."
The BBC is a world renowned news bending organisation and recently gave itself an award for its fearless, in-depth coverage of how Margaret Thatcher wasn't a sports fanatic.
Brian Leveson said "I don't care if a left-leaning news organisation puts students' lives at risk, the most important thing is that the Murdoch press must never publish stories that hurt Hugh Grant's feelings. It is what lives were sacrificed for in two world wars."
"We're always right and must be allowed to risk lives" say BBC - (Independent)
"No! We're always right and we must censor the news" say LSE - (Guardian)
Shocking exclusive: BBC paid journalist to say Thatcher not terribly keen on sport - (BBC)
LSE awarded dubious degree to Gadaffi's son, Blair gave him tuition - (Independent)
LSE receives £1.5 million from Gadaffi - (Daily Mail)