Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Victory for Admiral Gordon Horatio Brownblower at the Battles of Madrid and Santander

Part 13 of the Brownblower Napoleonic Wars series in which our hero, Admiral Gordon Horatio Brownblower courageously fights the good fight to impose the Napoleonic Code of EU law on the hated enemy, the Bourgoisie of Angleterre.

The weather was fine and the Easter holiday period had arrived. Those nasty bourgois petit-angleterreurs and their nasty, carbon producing children had got up to their usual vile tricks by taking part in holiday activities and enjoying themselves in many pleasure resorts across the world. This of course violates the revered EU directive subclause RU12 which compassionately forbids all middle and working class scum from flying anywhere. This is a subclause of the popular EU Directive UR12 which forbids, for the benefit of the wider community, any enjoyment, freedom or democracy in the Angleterre region.

High Panjandrum Lord Admiral Von Rompuy despatched an order via the Eurocontrol department to stop all aeroplanes from flying and then sent his best commander, Admiral Gordon Horatio Brownblower to lead a squadron of civil service departments to block any counter attack.

Many of the Bourgoisie resorted to a rarely used skill that Gordon's captains had tried to stiffle, namely their initiative. Reports from Brownblower's craven scouts, the BBC, confirmed that thousands of Bourgoisie were clubbing together to hire coaches to return home. Some were also hiring cars to take them the thousands of miles to Calais.

Gordon assembled his chosen band of captains to lead the attack, many were from the order of St Socialist-sycophant and others were holders of the Meddle (sic) of Foreign Office Marxism. They cleverly sent false rumours that fleets of rescue coaches would arrive at Madrid airport and that the bourgois would then be liberated via the port of Santander to scurry to their horrid little island of Angleterre.

The ingenious plan then unfolded as 1000's of unwitting Petit-Angleterreurs were lulled into Gordon's Madrid and Santander traps. Huge 5-mile long queues formed at checkout desks and quaysides as the wailing children, tired parents and exhausted pensioners fought for non-existent tickets home.

Gordon then unleashed his final coup by sending the Good ship HMS Albion to Santader and mockingly took on board a few chosen colalborators, leaving the thousands of Angleterre scum helpless on the quayside. The pincer movement was completed when news reached the British holiday makers that the relief coaches bound for Madrid didn't exist at all and were but another New Labour ploy.

There is talk in the imperial court of Brussels that Brownblower could be rewarded with a ceremonial election defeat followed by the inevitable, jammy appointment as High EU Commissioner for Killing of Joys at the Directorate for Interferance, Nannying and Suppression.

Footnote: (From Daedalus's Shambolic Book of Definitions)
Napoleonic Code - The body of law created by Napoeon Bonarpart which is the basis for EU law and the Lisbon Treaty. It differs from the scumbag Angleterre laws in that the Napoleonic Code only allows citizens to take part in an activity if it is on pre-defined list. The Napoleonic citizen can only do things with permission of the state. Anglo Saxon law is the inverse of this, it allows the free men and women of the land to take part in any activity, with the exception of those activities listed as crimes. Hence the state seeks permission from the subject to prevent an activity.

(with many abject apologies to C.S.Forester)

A Quangocrat in Amber

The occurence of (yet another) unprecedented national disaster, the ash cloud, has thrown the spotlight on Deirdre Hutton, a prime example of New Labour's politicised and incompetent civil service and quango "elite".

The discovery of various random insects captured in amber from millions of years ago is of great use to scientists. We voters are offered a similar opportunity to study a typical New Labour "impartial" civil servant who was suddenly captured by the amber of a national disaster.

She started out in life as an interfering left wing political activist and has had virtually no experience of working in the private sector.

Deirdre also has NO experience of aviation and NO experience of engineering ... So what job do you think she is best suited for? Well, it seems she is the ideal person for the most senior aviation job in this country of course, Chairman of the Civil Aviation Authority. When she started her job in Aug 2009, she was burdened with working two days a week for £130,000.

It was our Deirdre who stood next to the Transport Minister yesterday (20th April) and read out the announcement of Britain's climb-down over the ash cloud no-fly zone.

Deirdre's Significant Roles
Observers of our failing civil service under New Labour will not be surprised to learn that Deirdre has, coincidentally (or is it?), been in charge of the following public sector bodies at the time of various national disasters and problems:

Civil Aviation Authority - During our recent "No Fly" disaster and at the time that flight taxes were increased again in 2009.

Financial Services Authority - at the time major decisions were not made in the lead up to the Credit Crunch. Derdre was also deputy direcor at teh Treasury.

Food Standards Agency - At the time of a scare concerning avian flu getting into the food chain and also at the time a controversial decision was made about Genetically Modified foods.

The CV of Deirdre, New Labour's Quango Queen.

In her youth:
Left-wing political activist, arrested in South Africa.

Appointed to the Arts Council in Scotland "largely because of her interest in chamber music" (see Ref-01 below).

Worked for the Financial Services Authority

2002 - 2004:
Deputy chairman of the Financial Services Authority

Chairman of the Food Standards Agency
"A Cabinet meeting at the start of the year, which included Gordon Brown, the chief scientist Sir John Beddington and the then chairman of the FSA, Dame Deirdre Hutton, is understood to have concluded that Britain’s official stance of opposition to GM crops had to be altered.

Cabinet papers leaked at the time showed the government appeared to be ready to go ahead with GM crops despite what it recognised would be considerable public resistance." (See Ref-04)

Dec 2006
Ed Balls announces that Deirdre's non-executive directorship and deputy chairmanship of the Financial Services Authority is extended until December 2007. (see Ref-03)

Feb 2007:
"The Food Standards Agency is investigating whether poultry from a Bernard Matthews' production site infected with the avian influenza virus (H5N1) entered the UK food chain and is being sold in stores.

The revelation, made yesterday by Deirdre Hutton, chairperson of the FSA board" (See Ref-05)

Autumn 2008
Advisor for a review into privatisation of the Royal Mail in 2008 with Richard Hooper and Ian Smith.
(See Ref-08)

Non-executive director of the Treasury

Mar 2009:
Appointed to the Board of the CAA.
"Currently chairman of the Food Standards Agency" (see Ref-02 below).

Aug 2009 to present:
Chairman of the CAA. She has no aviation or engineering experience and virtually no business experience.

Other Roles
Chairman of the National Consumer Council
Chairman of the Scottish Consumer Council
Deputy chairman of the European Food Safety Authority.
member of the Better Regulation Task Force.
Chairman of the Foresight Panel on the Food Chain and Crops for Industry
Chairman of the Food Chain Centre
Member of the Policy Commission on the Future of Farming and Food (the Curry Commission)
Deputy Chairman, European Food Safety Authority
Vice Chairman of the European Food Safety Authority.
Member of the Better Regulation Task Force until June 2005.
Advisor to the Social Market Foundation
Chairman of the Personal Investment Authority Ombudsman Bureau.

Personal Interests
(see Ref-07 below)

Dierdre's son Nicholas Hutton is a researcher for Jo Swinson, Lib Dem MP for East Dunbartonshire.

Shares in GlaxoSmithKline, Tesco, Unilever, BskyB, and Scottish Radio to a value of approximately £43,500

Close family members hold shares in GlaxoSmithKline, ICI, Tesco, Scottish & Newcastle, Unilever and Marks & Spencer to a value of approximately £88,000

Clubs and other organisations
Forum UK, a club for senior women in UK, some of whom are in th food and related industries

Comments and Quotes
"Dame Deirdre will serve as non-executive chair, working approximately two days per week at the CAA. Her appointment is for five years and will initially be at a salary of £130,000 per year."
(See Ref-02 below)

When Deirdre was asked about the FSA's culpability for the Credit Crunch, she replied:
"I look back and think what were the things I let go through and where I should have thought a bit harder. What are the things I missed? It's the same with every regulator. You are not floored by the things you know about. You are floored by the things that come in from left-field. It's very difficult in the long run to get it right."
(see Ref-01 below)

Deirdre said this about her CAA appointment
"When I was approached to think about this job my reaction was: 'Why do you want me to get involved in aviation? I don't know anything about aeroplanes.'
But there are a lot of things that are transferable. My main interest, I realise after quite a long time working, is making organisations work properly."
(see Ref-01 below)

Deirdre in full Marxist-Speak mode:
“Conflicts can arise in the pursuit of sustainable development between the short-term interests of consumers, and their longer-term interests as citizens.
The report examines the nature of conflicts and suggests that it is essential that these are identified and explained and that processes are set in place to resolve them”.
Deirdre Hutton CBE Chairman of the Scottish Consumer Council
Monday 24 January 2000
(See Ref-06 below)










Tuesday, 20 April 2010

New Icelandic-like Cash Clouds Detected Over Westmonster

The recent volcanic like Cash Cloud eruptions that have devastated the Icelandic economy are now thought to be affecting the cosy south-east village of Westmonster.

Elliot Morley, a Westmonster resident and local expenses-herder of some repute, was reported by expert cash investigators at Southwark Crown Court as having witnessed large amounts of cash which is known as "Legalaid" in his local dialect.

Researchers encountered other local residents, David Chaytor and Jim Devine, who are thought to have told lawyers that they also saw large "legalaid" cash clouds. Some readers may know of these phenomena by other names like "taxpayers' cash" or "my b****y money, you thieving ba*****s".

The testimony of these locals is in some doubt as they are also known to have made eccentric claims of expenses-abduction in the past. This has become quite a common occurrence in the Parliament area of Westmonster where local ignorant windbags claim to have seen mysterious phantom mortgages, toilet seats, porn films or even moats and then make exraordinary expense-abduction claims.

Cash clouds have caused huge disruption to political fellow-travellers in the past as many flights of fancy get cancelled in such conditions at Westmonster. Those worse affected include local gang-masters Gordon "Boom 'n Bust" Brown, Dave "Cast-Iron" Cameron and Nicholas "Who?" Clegg. They have had to cancel many flights of fancy as the destructive side effects of the cash clouds, known to experts as "public opinion", revealed the weaknesses of their political vehicles.